From Part 1:
I’ve been reading and processing slowly, Brené Brown’s Daring Greatly, in which she reminds the reader, “You are enough.”
I’m considering putting a decal of that on my ceiling over my bed, so that it’s the first thing I see in the morning when I wake up: I am enough. I have enough.
Another synchronicity (and they have been snowballing, let me tell you): There is a connection between “enoughness” and love.
My counselor has been talking with me a lot about love, particularly the love I do or don’t exercise toward myself. It’s easy for me to exercise love and compassion toward others, but it’s very difficult to extend those conditions to myself. I am always the exception to the rule.
(Remember, I’m the person who made fun of the song “The Greatest Love of All” in these very pages just a month ago.)
My counselor and Brené Brown both talk about the notion (myth) of scarcity—we seem to think…and our culture encourages us to think…that there’s not enough of anything in the world to go around, but especially not enough love.
Au contraire, says my counselor; God is infinite love, an unlimited pool of love that you already have access to…that you have always had access to.
She analogizes withholding love from self this way: You’re driving a car to San Francisco, but you’ve only filled the gas tank with 1/8th of a gallon of gasoline. Then, when it peters out, you say, “You stupid car. Why can’t you make it?”
Her point: As absurd as this example is…that’s how absurd the notion is that God only parcels out drips and drabs of love and then expects us to behave as if we have a full tank of it.
She tells me to ask, “How is not loving myself serving me? For what purpose?”
Well, it seems selfish, I reply. We’re supposed to be selfless, not self-interested. Love is to be given to, spent on, other people.
She explains: It is selfish to cut myself off from the limitless source of life and love (God), because then I can’t love others. If I cut myself off from God who IS LOVE, the very substance I need…and that everyone needs…isn’t that definition of selfish?
Well, duh…when she puts it that way, it seems pretty obvious.
We know this is an endless resource, she says, because we were taught to pray (by Jesus himself) “give us this day our daily bread.” It is supplied daily. And it is enough. It is not an eighth of a gallon of gas for the trip to San Francisco. And when the tank runs dry, I can go refill it.
How do I access it? But to ask “how” is to stop the process. How do you access it? You just do. You believe it, you know it, and you do.
I’m trying to get it.
(“Do or do not; there is no try.” —Yoda)
(“tried = tired” —my counselor)
Reframe: I almost get it.
Here’s to living in the land of love.